I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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