ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
