Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
