ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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