If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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