Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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