I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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