i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You left your underwear on the fireplace
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
