well I can't set my house on fire every night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How external is "for external use only"?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
