problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
