We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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