I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize