All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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