Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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