I'm passing your future prison.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
