he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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