So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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