Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
