there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
