Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
