Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
