He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
