Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
