my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
