doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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