well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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