Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
