I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
