I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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