i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
