Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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