yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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