Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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