I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
