I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
