we're blogging at a bar
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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