Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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