There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
