This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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