He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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