I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
