I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize