when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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