If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
