im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
