i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
