White coat. Heels.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
