Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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