I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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