Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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