Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My bed smells like the plague
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
