Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize