She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
