i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
