This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
