I want to walk on stilts...naked
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize