how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
