woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
