Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just want nice things and good sex
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
