idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
