If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if only i could text you this smell
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
