ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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